How you can help

We all have a responsibility to look out for each other and step up when you see something that doesn’t feel right. It’s important to safely speak out, show support, and make a positive difference when it comes to things like bullying, unhealthy relationships, or harmful behaviour. Small actions can have a big impact!

Banter

Friendly teasing between equals that never hurts feelings, and everyone laughs, including the person being teased:

Both people laugh and joke back
No personal insults or sensitive topics
Teasing happens, stops, everyone’s cool
Everyone feels equal

Stay on the right side

1. Check before you joke 

Would you laugh if it was said to you? If not, don’t say it.

2. Watch for hurt feelings 

If they seem upset (or ask you to stop) you must stop immediately.

3. Think online 

Emojis can help show you’re joking. But online, tone is hard to read, so if you’re not sure, don’t send it.

4. Friends matter 

Banter should feel fair. If only one person is being teased and it doesn’t stop, that’s bullying.

Bullying

Hurting someone on purpose either physically, by saying mean things, excluding them, spreading rumours targeting something personal, like someone’s appearance, identity, or feelings:

One person laughs, the other gets upset
Targets identity, insecurities, or things that make them feel bad
It’s repeated even after someone says “stop”
There’s a power imbalance

What to do

If you’re being bullied, tell someone: like a parent, teacher, or friend.
If you realise you crossed the line, say sorry, stop, and don’t do it again.
If you see someone else being bullied, stand up for them or report it (you don’t have to fight, just speak up). Don’t be a bystander.

A bystander is someone who sees or knows that something is happening (like a friend being treated badly in a relationship) but isn’t directly involved. You’re not causing harm, but you’re also not stopping it. Being an active bystander means you don’t just stay quiet; you do something about it.

How to be an active bystander

1. Spot the red flags 

Things like constant put-downs, controlling behaviour, jealousy, or one person always being scared or stressed.

2. Check in privately 

Ask your friend if they’re okay. You don’t have to fix it, just let them know you care and you’re there.

3. Speak up (safely) 

If it’s safe, call out mean or controlling behaviour. Even saying “That’s not okay” can make a difference.

4. Don’t spread it 

Avoid sharing screenshots, gossip, or turning it into drama, it just makes things worse.

5. Get help 

Talk to a trusted adult, school staff, or use anonymous help lines. You’re not snitching, you’re protecting someone.

If someone you care about is in a bad relationship, staying silent can make things worse. Letting them know you’re there can help them feel supported and confident to seek help. Being brave and speaking up early, even in small ways, can make a big difference.

Call us anytime

01481 721999 (24/7)

IN AN EMERGENCY CALL 999

Useful links

Safer.gg main website

BeSafer is part of the charity Safer, which specialises in supporting and empowering victims of domestic abuse. The service is run by our dedicated team, including our Child and Young Person Violence Advisors (CYPVAs), who work directly with children and young people affected by domestic abuse, whether in their own homes or in their intimate relationships.

Alongside them, our Domestic and Sexual Abuse Education Workers deliver age-appropriate sessions in schools from Year 6 to Year 13, helping young people understand the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships. Together, they provide a caring, all-round approach to supporting and educating young people.

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