BeSmart
Being intimate
Intimate relationships
Many think that intimate relationships are sexual, but most of the time they are not, as there are many types of intimate relationship such as friendships and romantic relationships.
Love, dating, crushes, romances, every young person spends times wondering about these topics. This is because the process of developing intimate relationships is a natural part of growing up.
Intimacy is about being emotionally close to someone, and being able to share your feelings without any restrictions.
Without a clear understanding of what makes a relationship healthy young people are likely to tolerate relationships that put them at risk.
Sex
At the age of 16, you can consent to sex with males or females within the Bailiwick of Guernsey.
This is known as the “age of consent”. It is a criminal offence (sexual assault) if you have sex with someone when you or they are under the age of 16, even if you have both given consent. In the eyes of the law you are unable to consent to sex when under the age of 16.
Sex means penetrative sex, oral sex or masturbating together.
If you would like advice on contraception or sexual health, contact Choices at 01481 714954, email info@choices.gg or visit their website www.choices.gg
Alternatively, you can contact the Orchard Centre (an open-access sexual health clinic) on 01481 227707
What is consent?
Consent is when a person freely gives their permission or agrees to something. This decision needs to have been made without being:
- Pressured or bullied.
- Given drugs or alcohol to change their decision.
- Or otherwise manipulated.
Understanding consent
Created by Blue Seat Studios
If one party says ‘no’ or ‘stop’ during a sexual situation, consent has been withdrawn, and if you carry on, this is deemed to be sexual assault.
Porn
Young people tend to be curious and watch pornography; this is completely normal during puberty and the sexual development of a young person. However, there are many adult movies online that do not depict sex in a loving relationship but rather in an unrealistic way, including but not limited to:-
- The size and body type depicted leading to body insecurities
- Sexually aggressive behaviour
- Perception of woman as a sexual tool (lack of empathy for your partner)
Watching too much pornographic material can lead to a distorted view of what is “normal” sex. Exploring sex is completely normal with your partner but remember that it should be discussed and that no party should feel any pressure to say yes or to undertake a sex act that they are not fully comfortable with.