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Family troubles

Signs of an unhealthy relationship with a family member

  • You feel drained or on edge around them
  • They constantly criticize or put you down
  • They don’t respect your boundaries
  • They blame you for their problems
  • The relationship feels one-sided

Not all family relationships feel safe or supportive and that’s okay to admit. Just because someone is related to you doesn’t mean they always treat you with the care and respect you deserve.

What to do if you think your parent is in an abusive relationship

1. Trust Your Gut

If things at home feel scary, tense, or wrong, it’s okay to trust that feeling. Abuse isn’t just physical, it can be emotional, verbal, or controlling too.

2. It’s Not Your Fault

You didn’t cause this, and it’s not your job to fix it. The adult who’s hurting someone is the one responsible.

3. Talk to Someone

Find an adult you trust, like a teacher or family friend. You don’t need all the details. Just saying, “I’m worried about my parent” is enough to start.

4. Look After You

Living around abuse is really hard. Talk to someone, write things down, or find healthy ways to deal with stress. You matter too.

If you’re worried that one of your parents is being hurt or controlled by their partner, you’re not alone and your feelings are real.

How is this different to an unhealthy relationship with a partner?

You Don’t Choose Your Family

With a romantic partner, you usually choose to be with them. But with family? You’re born into it. That can make things more complicated, especially if you feel stuck or like you can’t get away.

Breaking Up Isn’t Really a Thing

If a relationship with a partner gets toxic, you can break up. With family, it’s not always that simple. You might still live with them, see them all the time, or feel like you can’t cut them off, even if you want to.

You Might Rely on Them for Basic Stuff

Food, money, a place to sleep, family might be providing all that. That can make it harder (and scarier) to speak up or set boundaries, even when their behaviour is hurting you.

There’s Guilt and Pressure

People often say stuff like “But they’re your family” which can make you feel guilty for being upset or needing space. Just because someone’s related to you doesn’t mean they get to treat you badly.

It’s Harder to Talk About

Friends might talk about bad breakups, but not everyone talks openly about family issues. That can make you feel alone, even though lots of people go through it.

Whether it’s a boyfriend, girlfriend, parent, or sibling, no one has the right to make you feel worthless. If a relationship makes you feel unsafe, small, or constantly stressed, it’s okay to reach out for help. Family doesn’t get a free pass. You still deserve respect, support, and peace.

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Remember, you can email us askbe@safer.gg or you can call 01481 721999.
You can also talk to a trusted adult who could then make contact.

Call us anytime

Call us anytime 01481 721999 (24/7)

IN AN EMERGENCY CALL 999

BeSafer is part of the charity Safer, which specialises in supporting and empowering victims of domestic abuse. The service is run by our dedicated team, including our Child and Young Person Violence Advisors (CYPVAs), who work directly with children and young people affected by domestic abuse, whether in their own homes or in their intimate relationships.

Alongside them, our Domestic and Sexual Abuse Education Workers deliver age-appropriate sessions in schools from Year 6 to Year 13, helping young people understand the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships. Together, they provide a caring, all-round approach to supporting and educating young people.

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