Signs to look out for:
- Depression and anxiety
- Cancelling plans last minute
- Always with their partner
- Argumentative or upset
- Being fearful or withdrawn
- Unexplained injuries
- Use of drugs and alcohol
- Receiving constant texts and calls
- Afraid of making partner angry
- Dressing differently
- Making excuses for partner’s behaviour
- Not having access to their phone, social media etc
Remember: finding some signs might not necessarily mean that they are experiencing domestic violence but it’s good to ask.
How to support:
It can be very hard to talk about abuse and it can also be hard to support someone. Make sure you look after yourself as well as them. Here are some tips:
- If you want to approach them, be honest about why you are concerned and do it in a sensitive way, such as ‘I am worried about you because…’.
- Don’t judge them, believe them.
- Try not to ‘fix things’ straight away.
- Let them know they are not alone, that it is not their fault and that you know how hard it can be to talk about it.
- Help them to recognise what is happening is unacceptable and that they don’t have to cope with this alone.
- Understand that they may need time to think about this and may not act straight away.
- Encourage them to talk to a trusted adult and look at the resources on this website.
- Decide together what to do to make things safer – this can involve making a safety plan. See the safety plan advice here.
- Even if they ask you not to tell anyone, it is ok to talk to a trusted adult if you are worried about their safety.
- Never try to talk to the abuser yourself.
- Think up a code word that your friend can use to let you know they need help.
- Make a list of all the brilliant things about your friend to help improve their confidence.