A good relationship should make you feel happy, safe, and respected. Here are the green flags and red flags so you can spot what’s healthy, what’s not, and know when something doesn’t feel right.
Trust - You feel safe and can rely on them.
Honesty - Keep it real, even when hard. No lying or hiding things.
Kindness - They check in - small moments = big feels.
Comfortable Pace - You’re not rushed - no pressure. Growing together.
Fun - They make you laugh. It’s effortless. Feel good together.
Respect - Value each other’s opinions, feelings, and space. Even when different.
Responsibility - Mess up? They own it and apologize.
Independence - There’s life outside “us”: hobbies, friends, and own time.
Healthy Conflict - Disagreements don’t get toxic. You talk it out.
Equality - Not writing all the texts or planning all the hangs? Balanced effort. It works both ways.
Manipulation - Guilt trips, twisting your words. Controlling you.
Betrayal - Sneaky texts, lies, or cheating. No trust.
Intensity - They’re way too much too soon - constant texts, pressure, clingy vibes.
Guilting - “If you loved me you would…” Makes you feel guilty for being you.
Belittling - “Joking” insults that hurt - makes you feel low-key worthless.
Possessiveness - Jealousy, “where are you,” “who you with,” checking up on you.
Deflecting Responsibility - Always blaming others - never owning mistakes.
Volatility - One day sweet, next day storms - mood swings that wreck your calm.
Isolation - Slowly cuts off your friends, family and the life you know.
Sabotage - Talking behind your back, making you look bad.
01481 721999 (24/7)BeSafer is part of the charity Safer, which specialises in supporting and empowering victims of domestic abuse. The service is run by our dedicated team, including our Child and Young Person Violence Advisors (CYPVAs), who work directly with children and young people affected by domestic abuse, whether in their own homes or in their intimate relationships.
Alongside them, our Domestic and Sexual Abuse Education Workers deliver age-appropriate sessions in schools from Year 6 to Year 13, helping young people understand the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships. Together, they provide a caring, all-round approach to supporting and educating young people.
© Safer Guernsey | All rights reserved
